"THANK YOU"

ATHANK YOU!@

A Sermon by the Rev. Bruce Clear

Sunday, June 5, 2005

All Souls Unitarian Church

Indianapolis, Indiana

Thank you.

Thank you for getting out of bed this morning, thinking of coming to church. Thank you for taking the time to get dressed, perhaps even get a whole family ready, driving or walking or taking the bus to church. Thank you for making it from the parking lot to the front door, and sharing greetings with others in a friendly and warm manner. Thank you for sitting here and listening during recognition of our teachers and students, and our Music Director, and thank you for taking these next few moments to listen to me.

I don=t often get the chance to thank you for the many tasks that it takes just to come and sit in this sanctuary each Sunday. Even now, there are people in other parts of the church whom I would like to thankYthe workers in the kitchen, the library, the classrooms, as well as the custodian, the tellers who are in the office counting money, and so on.

You may think in offering all this thanks that I am just trying to do the selfless thing, give credit where credit is due, and make people feel better. Yes, I suppose I am. But giving thanks, it turns out, has substantial benefits to the Agiver of thanks@ as well as the receiver. Or so recent studies have said. Being grateful, feeling grateful, is a surprisingly healthy exercise.

Two psychologists from the University of California at Davis tried an interesting experiment. Several hundred participants were divided into three groups. Group one was to keep track of everything that happened during the day. Group two was to write down unpleasant experiences they had each day. Group three kept lists of things that happened for which they were grateful.

Those in group three B those who paid attention to what they appreciated in daily life, benefited most. Compared with the other groups, they reported higher levels of Aalertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy.@ The group that focused on gratitude also experienced less stress and depression. They were more successful in their goals, and they felt more loved and appreciated.

Wow. It=s enough to spend all day thanking everyone you meet for entering your life or crossing your path.

By the way, the researches noted that gratitude is a virtue promoted in all religions, and yet the personal benefits of gratitude are independent of faith B it works regardless of your religious orientation.

There seems to be an almost natural law about human attitude. It is a law of reciprocity B what is given in attitude returns. It seems to be the case that human society is a breeding ground for whatever attitudes are brought to it. If someone distrusts you, you are likely to distrust them. Right? Distrust breeds distrust, and comes back to you. If you express confidence toward someone, saying AI know you can do it!@ they will feel more confident, and chances are you will too. And when those you encourage succeed, you will feel their success, too.

This is the law of reciprocity in human attitude B what we give others comes back to us. The Biblical imperative is true: AAs you give, so shall you receive.@ Here is the way psychiatrist Roger Walsh says it:

AWe tend to forget how very different the laws that govern the mind are from the laws that operate in the physical world. In the world, if we give a physical thing to another person, whether it be a toy or a diamond, we lose it. Yet in the mind, the opposite is true. Whatever we intend for another person, we experience ourselves, whatever we give we gain, whatever we offer flowers in our own mind.

AIf we feel hatred toward someone, that hate boomerangs back and scorches our own mind. On the other hand, if you offer love to someone, that love first fills and heals your mind. Once this is understood, the desire to hate and hurts starts to shrink, while the desire to love and help begins to flourish.@

There is a law of reciprocity in the human mind. Hate and violence beget hate and violence. Kindness and compassion breed more kindness and compassion. It may be that love and compassion are frequently ambitious goals, but we can always start with a much more modest human activity B gratitude.

It is never too much of a stretch to offer words of thanks to those who have done something that make our world just a bit more pleasant and meaningful. It can happen anywhere, anytime B in a grocery store, at the office or workplace, or in the family.

Living a life of gratitude can be an achievable and beneficial goal for any one of us. Try to take one day of your life, and thank each and every person for anything they did that helped you. In fact, if you make it a daily exercise it can become something that benefits you emotionally, psychologically, and can even improve your health.

We take some time at this point in the church year to recognize and honor our R.E. teachers and volunteers. We are grateful for those who teach and model values to our children. The law of reciprocity in human attitude is seen most plainly, perhaps, in children.

It has been observed that Achildren are born copycats.@ If they witness rudeness from those who are supposed to be guiding them, they will learn to be rude. But if they hear kind words and courtesy and encouragement, that will become their model. Often, when someone does something nice for a child, we remind that child to say, Athank you.@ Part of the reason for doing this is we know intuitively the law of reciprocity and we want that child to know how gratitude can make us feel good.

But again, modeling is the best teacher. It is good for the child to hear us thank a cashier or a server in a restaurant, to thank someone who has repaired a broken appliance in our home, or thank a teacher who has helped our child to learn. Beyond that, it is important for a child to receive appreciation in order to give it. Saying how grateful you are to a child for good behavior is far and beyond the best way to encourage good behavior. AThank you for being so cooperative.@ Or AI appreciate that you and your brother are getting along so well in the car.@ Or even a simple, AI enjoyed our day at the zoo together. Thanks for making it such a nice day for me.@

The law of reciprocity in human attitudes is fairly easy to see in raising children. It is more difficult to understand that it works the same way as adults. But it does. Taking time to say AThank you,@ for example makes our immediate world around us more pleasant to live in.

The popular writer and Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast has given the following simple advice to promote the storehouse of gratitude in this world. He says:

< Say one word today that gives a fearful person courage.

< Calmly hold someone=s hand today, and spread calm.

< Look a stranger in the eyes today and realize that there are no strangers.

< Give someone an unexpected smile today and so contribute your share to peace on earth.

We are winding down a very successful year at All Souls. There are so many people to thank for making it work so well. The future of this church will look back to see this as a pivotal year in the health and strength of this congregation. I thank all of you who made this work so well, and ask that you take time to thank others here in our church family B who gave you support B who gave you a smile when you most needed it, who encouraged you and who shared your journey.

When we take time to think of who we could thank and for what, it can be an endless list. Inevitably when we=ve taken time to have an Aappreciation Sunday@ or Arecognition Sunday@ someone gets left out, forgotten, even though they may have done as much or more than others on the list. It seems impossible to thank everyone who deserves it. But we should continue to try to give words of praise and gratitude to as many people in our daily lives as we possibly can. In this church, at work, with friends, with strangers B everywhere, the law of reciprocity works. Gratitude makes your world a better one. I close with these words from popular psychology writer Melody Beattie:

AGratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.@